Valdez Matchmaking Cost

Dating is hard. Sure, it can also be a lot fun — you meet new people, have new experiences, and maybe even a little romance — but most of the time, hard. And after a while, that can start to wear you down, and the negatives might feel like they outweigh the positives. But if you're serious about finding a partner, and the apps and set-ups just aren't getting the job done, it may be time to consider something a little more old-school: A matchmaker! I know what you're thinking: “How much do matchmakers cost?' Good question, and the answer is... it depends! I reached out to a dating coach and to a matchmaker to find out what you can actually expect to spend when you hire the big guns — romantically speaking.

Valdez Matchmaking Cost List
Valdez Matchmaking Cost
Valdez Matchmaking Cost Estimator
Valdez Matchmaking Cost Estimate

When Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker for Matchmakers in the City and Erika Ettin of A Little Nudge broke down the fees for their matchmaking and coaching services, respectively, I was honestly a bit surprised. There was a bit of sticker shock — that is, until they explained all they do for their clients, and it became clear that you're getting exactly what you paid for.

So, if you're ready for love and want the guidance of a seasoned professional, it's time to start saving up. Besides, you can't really put a price tag on true love, can you?

Well, I guess technically you can. Here's what experts say that looks like.

Valdez Matchmaking Cost List

How much does it cost to hire a matchmaker?

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When you hire a matchmaker, you should be prepared to make a bit of an investment. The price range for date coaching, Ettin says, runs from as little as $59 to have “a [dating] profile written” by a professional to upwards of “$4,000 to have your entire dating life managed for you, including a profile, new photos, and a date concierge service,” she says.

Matchmakers like Conti also provide a range of services and price points for clients. 'At Matchmakers In The City, we have an $100 option to be a part of our passive database,” explains Conti. In this case, “members are interviewed, background checked, social media checked, and sex offender searched, and then are entered into our database to be potentially matched with one of our Priority Members,' she reveals, adding, that for priority members, the cost is higher, but so too are the services provided. “Priority Memberships have payment plans beginning at $1,900.” The cost can also depend on where you're located, says Conti. “Local memberships in our service areas (LA, NYC, SF, & DC) are from $5,000 to $15,000, and then National and International Priority Memberships begin at $25,000.”

On the one hand, that all may seem be a bit intimidating, but think of it this way: That price point likely means that whomever you are being set up with is as serious about finding love as you are — especially if they're opting for the more full-service options.

What makes that price tag worth it?

If you're looking into hiring a dating coach or matchmaker, it's likely because you’re tired of the more traditional routes and would like a helping hand. Ettin says clients usually come to them for a few different reasons. “They've tried online dating and it hasn't worked, so they need some help; They haven't tried online dating (maybe divorced after a long marriage) and need guidance; or they are too busy and can't/won't make the time for online dating, so they'd rather outsource,' she says. That's where the experts come in — and making that choice, Conti says, “is definitely a love-life changing decision.”

To help illustrate what that means, Conti explains the process that you go through when you work with a matchmaker like herself. The first step, she says, is the the interview, and “during this in-depth, private, one-on-one meeting with your Matchmaker, she will learn all about you: From who you find attractive in the public eye, to your favorite travel memories, to how many children you want to have.” From there, the matchmaker puts together a list of prospects and then “the actual matchmaking begins! We interview, background check, and social media check each Member, and ultimately select your matches based on this process. It’s absolutely a team effort, a methodical process, and one that is as old-school as it gets.”

From there, the matchmakers plan every detail of your date, taking all of the guesswork and back-and-forth of setting it up off your hands. “Once we have made all of the preparations, you will meet your match and enjoy getting to know each other!' says Conti. That sure beats a night of crossing your fingers!

How to find the right matchmaker for you.

While the matchmaker or dating coach will take on a lot of the footwork, there is one bit of screening you will have to do, and that's finding the right coach or matchmaker for you. The first step to finding the right service, Ettin says, is to just start asking around and find out if anyone you know has worked with someone they liked. “A lot of our industry — matchmaking and date coaching — is based on word-of-mouth referrals... just like in any relationship, you and the matchmaker [or] coach, have to click,” she says.

Conti agrees that it’s essential to do your research. “Make sure that the company is certified through the Matchmaking Institute,” she says. This is important, she explains, because “The Matchmaking Institute has a strict code of ethics, has a certification program for Matchmakers and companies, and really is a great resource for singles who are looking for the best Matchmaking firm for them.” And lastly, she says it’s vital to “ask if the company you are thinking of working with performs background checks on potential matches — and clients!” She knows what she's talking about, saying, “I have been a personal Matchmaker for seven years, and I have seen first hand how important running a thorough check on a potential match can be ... it might seem excessive, but safety while dating is number one!”

So, while going the matchmaker or dating couch route may cost more than a dating app, it really can make the whole dating process a lot easier. If that sounds like something you’re interested in and you have the financial resources, I say go for it. Treat yourself, and find the love of your life without any added stress. Sounds like a win/win to me.

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You get a notification—you have a new match on Bumble. He sent a cute opener, something about your dog. You go back and forth a few times, set up a date. You meet in person. It’s great—you have two drinks each, sit and talk for hours. Three months later, you’re officially dating. Then, he says he has something to tell you. It’s not a big deal, doesn’t matter or anything, but he wants you to know he didn’t actually write that cute opener about your dog. He was using a matchmaking service that managed his dating apps. He felt weird telling you before but didn’t want to keep it from you now. Is that okay?

Valdez Matchmaking Cost

The matchmaking industry doesn’t look like Fiddler on the Roof’s Yente anymore. And really, it doesn’t look a lot like Sima from Netflix’s smash summer hit Indian Matchmaking, either. Today’s matchmaking scene is a highly involved, technologically enhanced—there are algorithms to determine what opener you’re most likely to respond positively to!—and often prohibitively expensive luxury service. And these matchmaking companies, of which there are hundreds throughout the world, think of themselves as an outsourced service, like one might outsource their taxes to an accountant. You still have to go on the dates yourself, of course, but all that strenuous, awkward pre-show banter can be taken care of for you. For a price.

Jennifer was not happy, by the way, when Terry told her that he had been using a matchmaking service called VIDA Select during the time of their courtship and hadn’t written those messages himself. But she got over it, and the couple tells me they have been together for over a year.

VIDA Select is a modern matchmaking experience. It does match its clients with one another like a traditional service, but it also gets them set up on two to four dating apps. “With today's modern technologies, especially in a COVID world, online is just the most common way for people to meet. Actually, online dating sites and apps have been the number one way that single people meet since, according to Stanford researchers, 2017,” VIDA Select founder and CEO Scott Valdez tells me. “Not going online today when you're single is kind of like if you're on the job market and forgot to set up your LinkedIn account. It just wouldn't make a ton of sense.”

Valdez Matchmaking Cost Estimator

So instead of relying on old school matching—Valdez insists the industry is so tech-adverse that many companies 'still literally have printouts and rolodexes' of clients—VIDA does your online dating heavy-lifting. Its team takes authentic, natural photos of you (Valdez assures me they only subtly retouch), gets to know you and your interests, and then writes your profiles up, handling all the swiping and messaging, too. It’s quite the operation; 15 people or more could be involved in the setup of an account.

All you have to do is approve your profile, choose one of VIDA’s six messaging styles—options for women include “the Coquette” and “the Girl Next Door,” with “Strong Attention Grabber” and “Detailed Story” for men—and show up for your dates. VIDA’s ghostwriting team handles the rest. “It's predictive modeling...we're sending out tens of thousands of openers a month, right? So with all these openers that we're sending out, we just track [who responds],” Valdez says. “It comes down to different factors like age, geographic location, and occupation we found to be a big one. And we are constantly changing up the messages that we're sending. Creating new material, testing it, then introducing it into the rotation, then monitoring the data.”

VIDA is, relatively speaking, reasonably priced. Its packages start at $895 per month—the month-to-month pricing makes it a standout in the matchmaking space, where contracts typically run between six months and a year, and can cost up to a million dollars. (You can’t put a price on love, right?) Valdez says his cheaper service is just as or more effective, mostly because “the idea of relying almost exclusively on your own database of paying customers and registrations just is something that made sense when there weren't huge social media platforms and online dating platforms available.”

Selective Search would disagree. “It's almost like self-serve at a grocery store versus someone that's actually making you gourmet food, organic, farm-to-plate, in your home,” founder and CEO Barbie Adler says of how her team differs. Adler comes from the world of executive search, where she worked for years to place people in the right professional positions. In 2000, she wasn’t sure why the same methodology couldn’t be applied to placing people in the right relationships, so she gave it a try. After 20 years in business, Selective Search boasts that it has the highest success rate in the industry—87 percent—and the largest proprietary network of over 250,000 candidates. (Most luxury matchmaking firms make similar claims.) Even though Adler believes dating apps are not the right avenue for her (rich, older) clientele, she does think online dating is making it less stigmatized to ask for help in finding love.

What Selective Search provides beyond the apps is a bespoke service—both algorithm- and human-driven—to wealthy people across North America, and its custom programs can range from $25,000 to $1 million, depending on the duration and breadth of the search, seniority of strategist on the case, and custom add-ons, such as nutrition counseling, fitness coaching, and styling. “When they told me the pricing on it, I wasn't shocked, but...it absolutely put a smile on my face, because you could buy a fairly nice luxury vehicle for what was charged,” Mark (not his real name), who married a Selective Search match earlier this year, laughs over the phone. “I was just a little bit like, holy cow! And I said, listen, this is a lot of money, and it's either going to be a crazy waste of money or it's going to be the best investment I ever made. Because if I truly find the love of my life, again, and get married to her, it's going to be a drop in the bucket.” Looking back, he’s certain he never would’ve met her otherwise.

Valdez Matchmaking Cost Estimate

It’s the second marriage for both of the Chicago-based newlyweds—and Laura (not her real name), for her money, agrees that she would not have gone out with Mark had Selective Search not had its way with him. “He wanted to give them all these hunting pictures of him holding like dead animals, with a full beard and stuff,” she told me from their new shared home. “They advised him, no. You need a professional photographer and can't be holding anything dead in your hands, and you got to dress up nice.” Rest assured, the profile that Selective Search eventually emailed her featured only living things.

Amber Kelleher-Andrews, CEO of Kelleher International, thinks she knows why online dating doesn't work for everyone: There's no vetting. “Here's the real truth behind matchmaking,” she tells me over the phone. “Beautiful women cannot meet men online because there's thousands of predators. Beautiful women are freaked out by apps because these guys could be rapists and weirdos. And it's really hard for a beautiful woman to filter through all of the men and spend all of her time talking to guys, and not even knowing if he's married or whatever.” So they come to her instead.

But you have to be somebody in order for Kelleher International to take you on as a client. The company only makes matches for highly successful entrepreneurs, royalty, celebrities, and otherwise notable people, and only two percent of applicants are accepted. A Kelleher International membership costs between $25,000 and $300,000 a year, depending on the scope of your search. The Kellehers—it’s a family-run enterprise started by Kelleher-Andrews’ mother Jill in the ‘80s—don't just set up dates for you, either. They throw private parties in castles and vineyards, organizes safaris, and plans global philanthropy trips for their singles. “It's kind of like the world's most exclusive club, because it's pretty small and you have to be single to get in,” Kelleher-Andrews jokes. “That's a way for our clients to not just sit and wait for their one and only match.”

Wealth and status aren’t the only prerequisites for matchmaking services—in many cases, you’d have to take your business elsewhere if you aren’t heterosexual. Tammy Shaklee was happily married to a match from a matchmaking service, and in 2012, tried to refer a gay friend to the company. “I just assumed my matchmaker was matching gay and lesbian singles. It never occurred to me that they wouldn't,” she says. So she took matters into her own hands. “I started research, a feasibility study, focus group interviews, and I ended up designing a gay and lesbian matchmaking company.” Shaklee feels as though H4M is her calling as a straight ally. “I was often asked in the beginning years, ‘Are you ever going to match straight people?’ And I would joke and say, ‘No, straights are crazy.’”

While she’s progressive where it counts, Shaklee is a traditionalist when it comes to the matchmaking process. “I think there are some matchmakers out there that try to streamline-streamline, to where now it almost feels like you've hired a company to do your online dating. I encourage the industry to stay more traditional.' She interviews each client personally before emailing over prospective matches, and H4M even handles the reservation-making for first client dates. (VIDA has some LGBTQ clients, Kelleher says it’s currently working on offering services for LGBTQ singles, and Selective Search states it will “definitely go that direction when we’re ready to be the best.”)

In a pandemic-ridden world where all dating has been whisked from loud, crowded bars into sterile, rigid phone screens, the matchmaking industry is experiencing an unprecedented boom. Kelleher-Andrews says that virtual dating has opened up even more potential matches for her clients, and she even has a Canadian client moving to Puerto Rico to be with a man she met over Zoom in the spring. Nicole Wall, the SVP of Selective Search, agrees. “We always say that when the Dow is down, love is up, but the pandemic has been the most powerful thing I’ve ever witnessed since I’ve been here,' she says.

Still, it’s hard to think about matchmaking without the refrain of “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof popping into your head. Maybe it's only for the ultra-rich. Maybe it’s only for desperate people. Or maybe matchmaking is the most efficient way to date today. What was once a Yente with a rolodex is now a landscape of bespoke, fast-tracked services. Do we want to outsource our love lives? Is it unnatural, unspontaneous, transactional to do so? The same questions were asked when Match.com was created in 1993, and again when Tinder came to be in 2012. Perhaps the next great evolution in dating is the most traditional yet.